


A Clove A Day Keeps Everyone Away

by Violet Lunar Wolf (Dragon_MoonX)



Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: Drabble, Farting, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:21:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24742231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragon_MoonX/pseuds/Violet%20Lunar%20Wolf
Summary: Wario hasn't been feeling well lately. Obviously the solution is to eat more garlic. However, this isn't enough to stop him from causing a scene at the local bookstore. If anything, it only makes the situation worse.
Kudos: 1





	A Clove A Day Keeps Everyone Away

Of  course it had to happen here, in a public setting, where everyone within a five hundred mile radius could smell him wafting down the street. But Wario had an excuse, a perfectly good reason for wafting, he said, snuffling and blowing his massive honker.

Lately his nose had been redder than usual, his nostrils burning from too much sniffling, snotting and blowing. His head was throbbing, the result of a week long sinus infection, and the entire left side of his face was aching terribly. He looked and felt positively miserable. So what did the fabulously flatulent man do? He decided to eat more garlic, of course!

In desperation he began reading books on herbal remedies, and discovered a treatment for sinus infections that involved eating several servings of raw garlic. Naturally, this seemed like the best thing to do, seeing as how Wario loved eating garlic anyway.

"I eat garlic like candy!" Wario exclaimed, his monstrous backside waving in the air as he dug through the refrigerator, searching for a jar of minced garlic. "And if it helps me feel better, then why not? I could use a little extra garlic in my diet anyway."

Waluigi wrinkled his nose in disgust, taking a step back as Wario emerged victorious, a jar of minced garlic in his hand. Wario yanked open the silverware drawer and took out a spoon. The next thing Waluigi knew, his friend was sitting on the floor shoveling garlic in his face.

This process repeated day after day, until the stench coming off of the portly treasure hunter could be smelled at a distance of several feet. And although it helped to ease his sinus infection, Wario still wasn't fully recovered by time he and Waluigi stopped by the local bookstore.

"You go on, Waluigi," said Wario, taking a seat in one of the chairs near the window. "I'm just gonna wait over here. Maybe rest a bit, you know?"

Waluigi was quick to vacate the premises, wanting to get away from the horrendous stink. He began looking through the titles on the shelves, his friend picking up a magazine and flipping through the pages.

The combination of pain and prolonged illness had drained the last of Wario's strength, and right now all he wanted was to sleep, right where he was, regardless of the number of people in the store.

He turned the pages without really seeing them, the soothing warmth of the summer sun threatening to put him to sleep. Beside him, a young mushroom lad was scanning the cover of a book. Wario wasn't even aware of the fact that his eyes had started to close, his head lolling to the side as the magazine slid from his fingers.

When Waluigi returned a short while later, he nearly dropped the stack of books he was carrying when he saw his friend asleep in the chair. To make matters worse, Wario had fallen asleep on the mushroom lad seated next to him, his head on the boy's shoulder, mouth hanging open, allowing the garlic fumes to escape into the air.

Wario snorted and snuffled, a deep, rumbling snore vibrating the potted plant in the corner. The plant's leaves shook, and suddenly the mushroom lad was running from the building, gagging from the noxious oder.

"Wario, wake up!" Waluigi said, gripping his friend's shoulder and shaking him.

The portly treasure hunter came awake with a start, looking around in a daze. "Oh, was I snoring?" he muttered sleepily, lifting a hand and wiping the drool off his chin.

Waluigi rolled his eyes. "You should go home. You've got no business being out and about when you smell like nine miles of pickled farts."

This statement made Wario chuckle and unleash a fart of his own. "I couldn't care less," he said, his friend fanning the air in front of his face with a magazine. "Just let me do my thing and we'll leave when you've got your books."

That was when Waluigi decided to have a look at Wario's book of herbal remedies, in hopes of finding something that would help with Wario's horrible gas.


End file.
